1/6/04: Creative Arts Book Company out of business. Well, I've destroyed another publisher. My long history of putting anyone who takes a chance on me out of business continues--the publisher of Lifers has gone belly up. What this means for you, the dedicated Somers fan, however, is that I've bought out some of CAB's stock of unsold copies of Lifers (and man, that was a lot of books, bubba) so I can now sell them directly to you at a 50% discount off the cover price. You can now buy Lifers directly from me for $7, postage-paid. Why not take a chance? Come on, you bastards! If interested, send me a check for $7 to: Jeff Somers PO Box 3024 Hoboken, NJ 07030 Bulk orders also happily considered, drop me an email. And anyone who buys a copy this way gets a complimentary Jeff Somers bookmark, with my face on it:

11/22/03: Yet ANOTHER review of Lifers springs up on the web. Decidedly mixed, but a thoughtful and honest review, and heck, it's been more than two years since the book published. Any news is good news, bubba.

9/23/03: Found a new review on the world wide web here. Hint: He didn't like the book, but he loved loved loved the About the Author copy on the back cover.

12/8/02: We sold a bunch of books at the FOHL Signing Event. No, really. My Mom had an instant camera and went a little nuts, so here's a few pictures: A guy who actually bought one of my books. Mom and my brother, forced to admit they're related to me. Me and The Duchess, willing the good people of Hoboken to buy my books. It didn't work. A guy who actually bought my book pretending to be amazed at my talent for writing witty things when signing my books.

11/24/02: Time for the Annual Authors and Illustrators Book Sale and Signing event on December 8, 2002. Same as last year. Yours truly and a bunch of other talented Hoboken locals will be standing around drinking beer and signing our books. Details: 12/8/02, 10:00am-6:00pm, at The Shannon Lounge, 106 First Street, Hoboken, NJ If you're in the area, stop by and say hello. If you have not yet bought a copy of either Lifers or The Freaks are Winning, this is a perfect opportunity, and I'll have copies of TIS, stickers, and booksmarks to give away, too! YOU CAN'T LOSE!

7/13/02: ATOMIC BOOKS in Baltimore has added Lifers, The Freaks are Winning, and The Inner Swine to its famous shelves! We rock Baltimore, bubba, and if the stars align properly we may end up doing a reading there too, so stay tuned. Check out this fine store if you're in town: 1100 W. 36th Street, Baltimore, MD 21211, 410.662.4444

6/14/02: Some pictures of the Olssons reading. Well, despite there being not much of an audience to speak of, we took pictures of the D.C. reading, so here they are, you lucky people!

The manager of Olssons, clearly amused, introduces Jeff LEFT: Jeff, pretending there's an audience; RIGHT: The Duchess conmforting Jeff after the reading. Preternaturally attractive couple Jeof and Misty enjoying themselves despite Jeff's reading.

6/9/02: Read to the staff of Olssons. Well, you win some, you lose some. Reading in an unfamiliar city with no press to speak of, in a store that didn't often do readings and had no space set up for it, Your Humble Editor here managed to draw just about no one to the D.C. reading. Still, the employees of Olssons seemed intrigued, we did sell one copy of "Lifers", and a few patrons of the store paused to listen to me, so it wasn't all bad. Plus, the members of The Inner Swine Inner Circle (TISIC) who came along all went out with me for drinks afterwards in a nice bar called the Big Hunt around the corner, so it ended well. Pictures to come.

---------- OLDER NEWS ---------- 5/29/02: Some pictures from the Rocky Sullivans reading. I don't remember half this stuff. (click on the pics for larger versions, should you wish to) Dim shot of the crowd. The place was packed! Of course, maybe it was the beer... LEFT: MJ, who bought me many shots of Bushmills, God bless 'im. RIGHT: Me, reading to the stunned crowd. Pete, The Duchess, and Ken having a good time.

5/23/02: Rocky Sullivans is my new favorite bar. The reading at Rocky Sullivans was by far the most fun I've had hawking my book, no doubt. Maybe it was the atmosphere, with lighting, a sound system, and the great surroundings. Maybe it was the crowd, which was fun and irreverent but clearly there to hear a reading. Or maybe it was the six or seven beers I'd had prior to stumbling up to the podium. In any event, a great experience. And the bartender bought a copy of "Lifers", and he didn't even buy a book when Frank McCourt was there. Photos to come, as usual, but in the mean time, go there and have a drink or two, dammit.

5/17/02: The Philly reading was a blast. Nice crowd, good questions, and I think I even seemed coherent for a little while. Read a bit from both "Lifers" and "The Freaks are Winning" and everyone seemed to be laughing in the right places. Here're some pictures for you: Complete strangers bored to tears. You can read her thoughts: This guy got published? Jeff in action. Jesus, I'm unattractive. Note the 'dressed-up' look. Jeff signs a copy while his mouth hangs open in dimwitted astonishment. 5/15/02: "Lifers" and "The Freaks are Winning" both reviewed in the Philadelphia Inquirer! Lord knows how I manage to get people interested, but whatever it is, it works. Here's a link to the Inquirer's page, and as usual a mirror in case it gets archived, because I want future generations to see how cool I am. 4/22/02: The Chicago reading was a great success! Jeff read from his other book, "The Freaks are Winning" but had "Lifers" there as well. Sharing the bill with Abram Himmelstein of "Factory Direct" and "Tales of a Punk Rock Nothing", a good time was had by all. Pictures are up on the Freaks web site. Next stop on the BAF Tour: Philadelphia, May 15th. A picture from the Chicago reading; Jeff getting his 'inspiration'. 3/7/02: My Publisher has actually updated their web site, and boy oh boy, it's pretty cool. It is no longer a static page with their logo and a bunch of phone numbers. I'm going to miss that old page, which had been sitting there since 1996 like a mistake. It was my only friend, really. Go check out the new page! And maybe buy a few more copies of LIFERS while you're there. Why not? Click the logo above. 1/3/02: Quimbys Bookstore in Chicago has deigned to order a few copies of "Lifers". If you live in the Windy City, stomp over there and demand some, dammit.  1854 W. North Ave. Chicago, IL 60622; Phone: 773-342-0910; Fax: 773-528-1979 12/9/01: Here's some pictures of the Hoboken 3rd Annual Authors & Illustrators Book Sale & Signing, at which I personally sold four freakin' books. I'M GONNA BE RICH, BABY!

Jeff researches his next bestseller the only way he knows how.	A complete stranger deciding if she wants to buy "Lifers" or not.

Jeff once again confusing 'hysterical' with 'friendly' as
he signs a bought copy for a customer.

12/3/01: The 3rd Annual Authors & Illustrators Book Sale & Signing is over, and went well. We sold a couple of books, met a few people, and handed out some flyers about our OTHER book "The Freaks Are Winning." We rock. Pictures to come very soon, so check back in about a week.

10/3/01: The Friends of the Hoboken Library have invited yours truly to hawk his book at their Third Annual Authors and Illustrators Book Sale and Signing event in December. In conjunction with the City Hall Holiday Craft Show (at City Hall on Washington Street and First Avenue in Hoboken), I and a bunch of other local artists will be hanging out in a bar selling the good people of Hoboken books. More info as it comes, but here's what I have so far:
 

Plan to be there and come by and pity me as I sit, lonely and desolate.

9/16/01: Better late than never, some pictures of the NYC reading:

9/1/01: Astor Place B&N Reading survived.

WELL, the Reading at the Astor Place, Manhattan Barnes & Noble went fine, with a big crowd and only the usual sweating and stuttering by Your Favorite Author. dito, author of "A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints" was a manic, entertaining presence who dominated the evening, but I think I did okay. Signed some copies, sold some books, everyone enjoyed themselves. Pictures to come, my beautiful babies.

8/13/01: Here are some pictures from the Morristown signing:

Jeff waiting for the hordes of fans at The Book Shop in Morristown, NJ

Hot babe purchasing a signed copy of "Lifers". Or possibly the store owner telling Jeff he has to leave now.

 7/30/01: READING AT ASTOR PLACE BARNES & NOBLE IN NYC. Jeff will be reading from "Lifers" once again: 

WHEN: Wednesday, August 29 
WHERE: Barnes & Noble at Astor place, New York City (212)-420-1322 

More details to come! Stop by the B&N to see my lovely mug postered everywhere, it's very exciting. 

7/30/01: BOOK SIGNING BROUGHT FREE COOKIES. The Morristown signing went well. We met a few people who actually bought the book (gasp!) and got really awesome cookies from the very cool owners of The Book Shop . A couple of signed copies were left behind, so stop in and grab one. 

We'll have some oh-so-exciting pictures of the event soon. Promise. 

7/10/01: JEFF'S DOING A SIGNING IN MORRISTOWN. Jeff will be signing copies of "Lifers" at The Book Shop in Morristown, NJ: 

WHERE: The Book Shop , 83 South Street, Morristown, New Jersey 07960, 973-539-2165 
WHEN: Saturday, July 28th, 2001, 1-3pm 
WHY: I dunno. Who in hell wants my signature? 

Show up. I'll be friendly, I swear. 

7/1/01: "LIFERS" REVIEWED IN THE NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW! Somehow the fabric of space/time warped long enough for this to happen. We don't know how. I'm investigating more famous people with the same name I might have been confused with. 

Here's a link to the on-line review, and here's a mirror in case it gets pulled before you see this. YAHOO! 

6/14/01:Jeff's interview has appeared in the Hoboken newspaper The Hudson Current . He's embarrassed to say his picture, in fact, is on the cover. Check it out! 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

5/21/01: Skunk's Life has reviewed "Lifers", check it out on the Reviews page. 

5/17/01: The Reading at the Hoboken Barnes & Noble was a resounding success! About 50 people showed up to hear Jeff read, and the store sold out of copies of the book, to the delight of the greedy author. Here's a picture of Jeff reading to the lucky audience: 

5/15/01: "Lifers" has been reviewed by The West Virginia Surf Report , a very cool zine with a very cool web site. 

Also, Jeff's been contacted by The Hudson Reporter, an extremely local newspaper for an interview, and now plans to begin his arrogant Star Trip presently. 

4/10/01: Jeff Somers will be doing a reading from "Lifers" on May 16th, 2001! If you're in the area, stop by and learn why the man is better off staying home and writing, usually: 

DATE: Wednesday, May 16th, 2001 
PLACE: Barnes & Noble, 59 Washington Street, Hoboken, NJ 07030 
TIME: 7:30pm 

Jeff will be drinking heavily both before and after the blessed event. Find him in one of the many Hoboken taverns and get your heckling in early!